Mental Gymnastics
Hey Siri, define mental gymnastics…
Mental gymnastics is a term that refers to complex logical thought processes or inventive arguments used to justify something or make sense of something.
For example, someone might perform mental gymnastics to justify why their crush hasn’t responded to their text OR why they haven’t heard back from last week’s interview. The process typically involves a copious amount of overthinking, making up false scenarios, and normally ends with a grounding moment where you bring yourself down to earth, realizing how absurdly long it’s been occupying your mind, which can be hours, days or months.
Raise your hand if you have been there before. Queue collective raise of hands across America…
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Not many people know this about me, but I am an Olympic Gold Medalist for the US Mental Gymnastics team. My therapist constantly tells me to stop thinking for a second and to feel but feeling can be hard for an olympic mental gymnast like myself. Contrary to popular belief, nothing is off limits for overthinking. It can be something as simple as a text I sent last Tuesday, or the subject line of an upcoming client meeting. I can promise you my brain is doing cartwheels.
I realized my talent (or flaw) of mental gymnastics a few years ago while on a beach walk with my best friend. You know those friends that you have absolutely no filter with, the feel good friends, that is Riley for me. When we finished this beach walk, where my spoken words were a stream of my consciousness with zero filter whatsoever, Riley told me that she would jump into the Boston Harbour if she had as many thoughts as I did.
After spending 48 hours together, she told me that for every 469 thoughts I had (and said out loud), that she had approximately 7. She did laugh at approximately 460 of my thoughts but I digress. Feels unfair but also feels so validating. Oh…interesting…so my brain is…dare you say…different…because I think too much?
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Now fully aware that my brain is constantly on overdrive, I use it to my advantage. I use it to ensure that I am having a positive impact on the people around me from the waiter to my best friend’s sister’s boyfriend. Thinking about or somewhat obsessing over the impact I have on others is my superpower. I will have hour-long conversations with the receptionist. I will ask the girl in the airport that is crying if she is okay and bring her a water. I will invite every single person in a 15 mile radius to my party because I don’t want a single soul to feel left out. In every situation, I think about every person around me and how it might feel to be in their shoes. This is arguably the only time I am “good” at feeling feelings, when I am imagining what it would be like to be in someone else’s shoes. Then, I feel ALL THE FEELS.
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Call me crazy, call me too much, I don’t care. Ten times out of ten times, I would rather be too much than hurt someone’s feelings. We have all felt uninvited, or lesser than, or downright sad in a place where sadness isn’t welcomed. While we cannot always control the feelings of those around us, we can control our bubble and hope some of our kindness creates a ripple effect strong enough to penetrate others’ bubbles as well.
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A past me used to look at every single way I was different and I would internalize each and every “flaw”. That version of me died a few years ago. I don’t miss her one bit and may she rest in peace. I no longer subscribe to the belief that my overthinking is a weakness or something that I should work to quiet. I can recognize that this way of thinking or overthinking may not be for everyone. Some would prefer to jump into the Boston Harbour, but for me, at this stage in my life, I embrace it.
Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University found that the average human brain has 60,000 thoughts a day. I love that my brain has 189,000 (a WAG). I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Shoutout to my true blues, Riley Hellstein and Kels Arnold. Alexa, play “adore you” by Fred Again. You guys are the homies and I love you forever and ever.
